This morning on my way to work I was listening to Pandora, as usual. The past couple of days I’ve been stuck on Elle Varner’s station because Elle Varner has a voice like magic. This song popped up:
After the first listen, I had to go find it and listen to it 5 more times. Naturally, I got all into my feelings because Elle read my mind. The song is about fantasizing and desiring the perfect life with someone, but in reality all we need is someone that understands, loves, cares, trusts, and forgives us. Honesty hour: I have hoped, dreamed, and prayed for someone that would give me a “white picket fence”. Not a literal white picket fence, but the typical love story. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, have fun together, get married, have kids, have a nice beautiful house in the suburbs, and they live happily ever after. I prayed for amazing dates at low key restaurants, concerts, late night strolls downtown, vacations, meeting up for lunch (because in my mind that’s what couples do), and being that beautiful, successful power couple. When I got my “white picket fence”, I realized that all the stuff I had wished, prayed, hoped, and dreamed about was coming true, and it was wonderful and fun until it wasn’t. It was great, but it wasn’t what I needed in order to grow as a person. I needed understanding. I needed forgiveness. I needed compassion. I needed caring. At some point we all dream up our perfect romance, but how often do we dream up our perfect partner? When you find true happiness in a person, the glitz and the glamour don’t matter. Your love for the other person becomes the “white picket fence” and your home is wherever the two of you are. So often we fall for the superficial. We want our partners to be beautiful, rich, successful, fun, God-fearing, etc. We may even find someone with all those qualities and think we have hit the jackpot! We may even meet someone that is absolutely perfect, but none of that matters if the person only meets the desires of your mind. If they aren’t meeting the desires of your heart it won’t work. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of that stuff is important, but it shouldn’t be a deciding factor for your relationship. More weight should be put on if that person meets your emotional needs. Everything we build needs a solid foundation. Sadly, a solid foundation can not be built based off of a resume. My new “white picket fence” is love. Love that is understanding, forgiving, kind, caring, compassionate, motivating, encouraging, slow to anger, still God-fearing, and accepting. What’s your “white picket fence”?